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LITTLEBLACKDOG.COM
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Olive
Tail-Wagger
Joined: 04 Mar 2001
Posts: 2214
Location: chicago
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Posted:
Tue Dec 11, 2001 9:02 am Post subject: |
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So i take 1/2 a day off of work yesterday only to have the cable guy tell me to call again in a week. PISS OFF to that! Anyway... after he left I started tooling around on my computer and realized that I really needed some more ink for my printer.
So i take a joyous trip over to Office Depot, get my $60 worth of ink carts, and...
WOAH!!!!
What is this i see? Train Simulator? Immediately ideas began rushing through my head. Derailments, smashing into cars, blowing the horn at 3AM through a sleeping town. Stopping on the middle of the track and causing a traffic jam. Can this be a dream come true? Ha... I'll take that "superman" fuck on. Faster than a locomotive... We'll just have to see about that!! Even playing chicken with an Amtrack... could this be the end all of all games?
Sim City... build great cities only to light them on fire and watch them burn, or to release the monster and watch it terrorize the city.
The Sims... build a nice house, start a happy family... and trap the neighbors in the house. Build false walls around them to keep them hidden from visitors, and starve them to death. Or play the role of the house-breaking whore, and sleep with all the neighbors husbands.
Flight Simulator... it really was fun until exactly 3 months ago. Fly around chicago in an airliner and clip the attennas off the Sears tower... and smash into the Hancock. Hey... how was i supposed to know?
Zoo Tycoon... build a nice zoo. Pack it full of lions and tigers and bears (oh my)... get hoards of people to come and see all the attractions. Then.... build a fence around the enterance. Fire all your zookeepers (after all, they are supposed to catch loose animals), and then BOOM!!!!! Remove one section of the fence, cage, or wall that holds these hungery beasts in. "Are you sure you want to remove this item? Doing so will allow the animals inside to be free" YES I'M SURE!!! People scream... lions roar.... people run... lions run.... lions catch people, wiggle them around, and launch their corpse across the lawn. Tiger sees lion.... tiger pounces on lion.... lion all gone!
All in all... sim games (as dorky as they can be) totaly rock if you use them the right (err... wrong) way!
Train Simulator... ok.. what's this? I have to do what? Stop at blah and pick-up corn. Drop cars 0-3, 0-4 off at this yard, and pick up cars 0-5 and 0-23. Deliver load to this yard some 200 miles away. "F that man... how fast can this train go?" I throttle up all the way, take the break off, and the train starts moving forward at a rather exciting pace... i think i might like this game. "Warning - on coming train, stop at red light 3.4 miles ahead." ... or no. What red light... i don't see no red light. As i blow past the light, and see the on coming train.....
"game over - failed to stop at red light"
WHAT!!!!! You gotta be kidding me!!! I can't hit the train!?!?!?
ok.. whatever. new mission.
"deliver this load of wood to billings, montana." ok... simple enough.
I get her cranking... not more than 30 seconds into the game.... "Game over - you went over the speed limit 1 times for a total of 15 seconds" So..... so what??!?! Yeah i was doing 67 in a 10 mph zone. Who freaking cares. GRRRRRRRR!!! Can't seem to have fun with this one.
I try the wood one again.... this time watching my speed (and laying on the horn.) about 5 mintues into the game I get a "Wildlife ahead" sign. SWEET!!!! they didn't put that there for no reason... i bet i got bear or deer on the track. Sure as hell... two deer sitting on the middle of the track... MY TRACK!!! Now the well-mannered train engineer would blow his horn (kinda like i did the first three minutes as i pulled put of town). So I turn on the train headlights... hoping to stun them and keep them there a little while longer... i go full throttle (F the speed limit.. i got to go hunting with my train ma!)... change to bystander view (as opposed to engineer view... which is inside cab... bystander view puts me along side the track... watching the train apporach... then pass). Oh yes... hey there little deer. Stay.... stay.... stay.... WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! well... not really. the deer just disappeared. Now the other one total bolted outta there... but as opposed to seeing the deer get tossed some 30 feet away from the impact of a train... he just disappears off the screen.
Hmmm... i spent a good hour trying to make the game a little more fun. But either the mission ends because I did something wrong (ps... you don't get to see a derailment... the game just stops and say you derailed.. LAME), or i don't get the desired effects.
how sad.
For now... i'll stick to zoo tycoon. I have a Yeti in my zoo... i can't get him to attack people.. he always gets eaten by the lion or bear. So i have built the "YETI NATIONAL ZOO" to fix that problem.
[color=teal]..: |Werden gebogen!||::..[/color] |
_________________
i'd never join an organization who'd have me as a member
Thawte Web of Trust Notary
--wonko "I really dont know what to say exept the purpose of a lake is not to kill someone."
--maple_shaft "I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE!!!!! "
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Guy
Cat Chaser
Joined: 15 Jan 2001
Posts: 774
Location: San Antonio, TX
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Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2001 8:52 am Post subject: |
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i guess infated hopes turn to repackaged christmas presents
-g
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"The handwriting on the wall may be a forgery." -Ralph Hodgson
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JUGGY
Guest
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Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2001 9:03 am Post subject: |
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That, is by far, the most hilarious post I've ever read in my entire life. You kill me.
B W!! WW!! |
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IAmMarauder
Tail-Wagger
Joined: 01 May 2001
Age: 32
Posts: 2925
Location: Australia
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Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2001 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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Well, that's the way I used to play SimCity, but never thought of the other ones.
 more posts 'til I get my last doggie!
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_________________
What this world needs is a good $5 Plasma Weapon...
My piccies are here...
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edh
Veteran Dog
Joined: 02 Aug 2001
Posts: 6565
Location: Land of pickup trucks and Gun racks, ie gods land TX
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Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2001 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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You remind me a the guy that got fired for making naked gay guys run around sim world a few years ago. LOL
Hmmm do you also dive bomb your own troops?
MCSE 2k
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_________________
MCSE 2k
MCSA 2k/2003
CCNA
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T
Curmudgeon
Joined: 17 May 2001
Posts: 16187
Location: Airstrip One
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Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2001 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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Quote:
making naked gay guys run around sim world
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Too damn' funny.
My £0.02,
Demon
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Where do you want to be herded today?
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affabletoaster, Akely, anglachel, blahpony, CMTG, EdisonRex, Elk, Equin, evilness, Fido, fathertyme, Goddess, Jaymac, je, jodygirl, KingKobra, Lycander, mally, Max, OhioArt2, perrito_blanco, Rover, Spot, sully_51, Superdwarf, the taz man, thriftyjack, twiztid, wrathiron, yiayia49
Would you like good music at a price that is right? CD Baby, baby.
You look like you need a monkey.
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Olive
Tail-Wagger
Joined: 04 Mar 2001
Posts: 2214
Location: chicago
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Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2001 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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Quote:
You remind me a the guy that got fired for making naked gay guys run around sim world a few years ago.
yeah... i have tried that... but you really don't get the same impact as you would when you starve a sim to death.
[color=teal]..:|Werden gebogen!||::..[/color]
www.geminione.com |
_________________
i'd never join an organization who'd have me as a member
Thawte Web of Trust Notary
--wonko "I really dont know what to say exept the purpose of a lake is not to kill someone."
--maple_shaft "I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE!!!!! "
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Brain
Big Dog
Joined: 20 Oct 2000
Posts: 3689
Location: USA
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Posted:
Fri Dec 14, 2001 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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Quote:
You remind me a the guy that got fired for making naked gay guys run around sim world a few years ago. LOL
you mean the bastich who created the Him-bo's easter egg for DN3d ?
temporary replacement signature . . . please stand by |
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What would Jay and Silent Bob do  :
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IAmMarauder
Tail-Wagger
Joined: 01 May 2001
Age: 32
Posts: 2925
Location: Australia
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Posted:
Fri Dec 14, 2001 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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Quote:
Hmmm do you also dive bomb your own troops?
Ahhh... Not really, but I have shot my teammates playing Firearms (HalfLife Mod). I still reckon my finger slipped, but he disagreed. Needless to say for the next half hour we ran around shooting everyone, friend or foe. Can't be too careful, that teammate could have been the one after me!
more posts 'til I get my last doggie!
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_________________
What this world needs is a good $5 Plasma Weapon...
My piccies are here...
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edh
Veteran Dog
Joined: 02 Aug 2001
Posts: 6565
Location: Land of pickup trucks and Gun racks, ie gods land TX
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Posted:
Sat Dec 15, 2001 8:07 am Post subject: |
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Well when I play Q3, Im the loon that doesnt care about strat's, I like the bezerker roll. Recon, nurse, or Arso. Rule 1! disrupt the snipers, then mine the routes.
High score? Hell no, its about fun and POing some sniper. Or when I'm a nurse, its about infecting as many as I can. Love to hear their life force drain. And even if the kill themself I get the kill, hehehehe
MCSE 2k
Edited by - edh on 12/15/2001 11:10:38 |
_________________
MCSE 2k
MCSA 2k/2003
CCNA
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IAmMarauder
Tail-Wagger
Joined: 01 May 2001
Age: 32
Posts: 2925
Location: Australia
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Posted:
Sat Dec 15, 2001 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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Quote:
Well when I play Q3, Im the loon that doesnt care about strat's, I like the bezerker roll. Recon, nurse, or Arso. Rule 1! disrupt the snipers, then mine the routes.
High score? Hell no, its about fun and POing some sniper. Or when I'm a nurse, its about infecting as many as I can. Love to hear their life force drain. And even if the kill themself I get the kill, hehehehe
MCSE 2k
Edited by - edh on 12/15/2001 11:10:38
Another good way to PO snipers is to run in front, or stand in front of them, while they are lining up their shots. Or if your in a game that has them, Flash or smoke grenades right in front of them  .
more posts 'til I get my last doggie!
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_________________
What this world needs is a good $5 Plasma Weapon...
My piccies are here...
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fathertyme
Site Admin
Joined: 30 Jun 2001
Posts: 6207
Location: The American Colonies
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Posted:
Mon Dec 17, 2001 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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y'all are pure evil... I'm so envious *L*
damn good reading... someone should send the original post to the creators of the sim world to make sure they know exactly what kind of audience their games have!!!!
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fathertyme is soooo long to type out, and ft just doesn't cut it.
Now cheesy, that seems to just roll off the fingertips.
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_________________
LWD web-cams: http://lwdcam.codecoma.com/?lwdcam 
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[9:08pm][09/16/2005]«+ flip » college...what is that
[9:08pm][09/16/2005]«+ Aff » apparently a place where you find rum
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I used to live in my own little world, but they didn't like me there either.
You see dead people? I'm a software engineer, I don't see anybody!
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My Amazon Wishlist
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Olive
Tail-Wagger
Joined: 04 Mar 2001
Posts: 2214
Location: chicago
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Posted:
Mon Dec 17, 2001 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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so you just assumed that i didn't already take that liberty?
Oddly enough... no one bothered to reply. You'd think that they would atleast pass it on to some smart-ass monkey and he'd whip up a reply... buy alas <sigh> no.
[color=teal]..:|Werden gebogen!||::..[/color]
www.geminione.com |
_________________
i'd never join an organization who'd have me as a member
Thawte Web of Trust Notary
--wonko "I really dont know what to say exept the purpose of a lake is not to kill someone."
--maple_shaft "I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE!!!!! "
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T
Curmudgeon
Joined: 17 May 2001
Posts: 16187
Location: Airstrip One
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Posted:
Mon Dec 17, 2001 3:27 pm Post subject: |
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It's small and petty, I know, but I like to play Facing Worlds (UT CTF) and hammer my bot team-mates off the top of the tower just to see them splat on the ground.
My £0.02,
Demon
---=== ===---
Where do you want to be herded today?
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_________________
Got questions? Click here.
Still got questions? Click here, too.
affabletoaster, Akely, anglachel, blahpony, CMTG, EdisonRex, Elk, Equin, evilness, Fido, fathertyme, Goddess, Jaymac, je, jodygirl, KingKobra, Lycander, mally, Max, OhioArt2, perrito_blanco, Rover, Spot, sully_51, Superdwarf, the taz man, thriftyjack, twiztid, wrathiron, yiayia49
Would you like good music at a price that is right? CD Baby, baby.
You look like you need a monkey.
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